Subaqua Sternal Rubs

And the award for the most appropriate acronym goes to: (Drumroll)

Diarrhea of Obscure Origin = DOO

Who thinks up these things?

Anyways, I finished the Pharm Midterm 1 yesterday. Hopefully it went alright. As you can tell, I am now studying for the Pathophysiology exam (and GI to be exact) on Monday… Close to 700 pages of notes to memorize and/or synthesize. Yippee!

After reading a very sombering email from a praticing physician about the state of American health care and all the new regulations, restrictions, and other legislatively and legally-induced BS that make practicing medicine a nightmare nowadays, he added this joke at the end to lighten my mood:

A true story for the end:
Mother calls pedriatic ED: "My child's temperature is 450 Degrees F."

Triage nurse asks: "Madam, how exactly did you determine this?"

Mother on phone : " Very easy. I turned on the oven to 450 degrees, put my one hand in the oven, my other hand on my childs forehead and both hands felt the same ! "

This has been around the internet for a while, but it made me smile, so I thought I'd share it:

Thoughts for the Day:

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!

Number 7 - Give people a fish and you feed them for a day; teach them to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky…..not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005:

We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as
to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

Since the Pathology Department has left us in the dark about what is required at tomorrow's first lab session, so I have a bit more work than I anticipated, and I only have time to post this short bit, which hopefully should keep you entertained:

Why Rednecks Can't Be Paramedics

A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them grabs his chest and falls to the ground.

He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead! What should I do?"

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions.. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence… and then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now what?"