Subaqua Sternal Rubs

This has been posted up a couple of times now, but since it echoes my thoughts exactly when I worked triage in the Emergency Department, I figured I'd share it with you (since I definately wasn't allowed to say these things then.) Note: Edited for language.

People, I am a triage nurse at a busy Emergency Room. I have a lot to say. . .

Do NOT come up to the front desk of the Emergency Room, fling your health insurance card at me, tell me that your doctor told you to come in, stand there with a bored expression on your face and cross your arms over your chest. That is not helpful. When I ask what you are specifically here for do not repeat that the Doctor told you to come in. When I ask what SYMPTOMS caused you to come in; Do not say that it’s in the computer. Ahem;

There are 16 [****] people behind you all sicker than your whiney morbidly obese smoking [****]. I’m not going to take the 8 minutes to log onto the computer, log my way in and through your medical record until I get to the part where your doctor’s phone nurse writes “This [****] smoker called me because he’s got a cough” Just tell me that you’re here for the [****] cough!

If your spouse (usually the sensible one) drags you in for the stroke that you had 3 days ago and you still have facial droop, slurred speech, and one-sided paralysis do not state that “My wife made me come in” when I ask why you’re here. Just tell me what the [****] you’re here for. And after I put you in line to go back to the ER do not send your cringing hand-wringing co-dependant family members up to me every 15 minutes to ask if it’s your turn yet. IF IT WAS YOUR TURN WE WOULD BE CALLING YOUR [****] NAME. The window for stroke treatment was 3 hours. Now that you’re long past it you’re looking at a lengthy rehab. After 3 days another hour or four won’t make a lick of difference. Your anger, frustration, worry, and regret will not get you in any faster. As the slow truth of your stupidity sinks in do not glare at me.

Continue Reading Note: Adult language that may be inappropriate for minors.

Via: Kevin, MD and GruntDoc

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