Subaqua Sternal Rubs

In an attempt to help the clueless residents who just started this month, I am posting this helpful list.

Day in and day out, we face situations in the hospital where we just don’t know what to do. Here are a few:

1. The Endless Ring - You’re sitting at the nurse’s station, minding your own business, when the phone rings. And rings. Where are all the nurses? Who could it be? Did I page someone? Should I answer it? The answer is NO. A wrong move here and you could get yourself into a fifteen minute search for the nurse for room 604, who is undoubtedly o­n a smoke break.

2. The Box of Chocolates - I don’t know about you, but I have a nasty sweet tooth. If there’s a plate of homemade cookies sitting around, I’m digging in. But what about the box of chocolates at the nurse’s station? Do you grab o­ne when no o­ne is looking? Those in the know are aware that chocolate truffles are like nurse heroin. If you deny a nurse that last truffle, you could end up the victim of a hate crime. So unless you’re suffering from a hypoglycemic coma, don’t touch those Russell Stovers.

3. The IV Alarm - Is it that difficult for medical schools to give students a 5-minute primer o­n IV pumps? What do you do when that thing starts to beep? The risk of inadvertently killing a patient by speeding up that insulin drip surely outweighs the benefit of killing that annoying alarm. We recommend hitting the run/stop button and getting the heck out of dodge.

4. The Helpless Patient – How come no o­ne is attending to that patient that continually screams for help? Do they know something that you don’t? The answer is yes. Look at the nurses and follow suit by pretending you don’t hear anything.

5. The Work Hours Interview - Its that time of the year again, when the work hours regulation people come for the annual resident interviews. You worked 100 hours last week, and weren’t happy about it. Do you tell the truth and potentially cost your program its accreditation? We recommend telling the truth, and then start looking for open residency spots.

Source: Stoppagingme.com

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