Subaqua Sternal Rubs

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of
natural causes.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

Good Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the dimensions.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use
the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to
realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
box to start a campfire?

Email to Friend Print