Subaqua Sternal Rubs

Back in my senior year of college, (wow was it that long ago?) someone had the great idea to tape up large blank poster's in our suite's hallway to record interesting/stupid things that fellow suitemates said. Here they are, immortilized for eternity:

"Why would wood burn?" –Courtney

"Don't make her laugh - she shakes." –Erin

"That looks really cool- as long as it doesn't set my TV on fire." –Adam

"Every place is different from everywhere else." –Courtney

"Quick! Get this man a toilet seat!" –Adam

"I have a toilet seat around my neck." –Erin

"I don't say stupid things!" –Erin

"Why do you need more stupid coats? Oh! Quotes!" –Carsten

"Talking, a skill I haven't quite yet mastered." –Erin

"Your bed is so soft and comfortable, can I sleep here? Well, then your floor is so comfortable too, can I sleep there? –Carsten

"It's like someone asking you to pass the soap while you're riding in the car with them." –Dan

"Are you playing Santa Claus?" –Erin
"Ho ho ho." –Dan, pointing at Erin

"How do you know I'm not a girl?" –Carsten

"How can you look at the back of a leaf and tell where it was made?" –Courtney

"I don't spit! I'm not a camel!" –Erin

"I love being stupid because most of the time I have something to laugh about." –Courtney
"Yes, exactly!" –Erin

"That's why aliens have 24 tongues–23 are for licking stamps and the last is for licking popsicles." –Andrew

"Hey, what's that snowman made out of?" –Courtney

"What the hell is that?" –Adam
"I think we both know what that is." –Dan

"No, you'd be a warm cracker if you put yourself in the microwave." –Adam

"Poopies don't run around." –Adam

"Dan, she's going for his diamonds!" –Anthony

"GHB is for the boyfriends of the girls you want to hook up with." –Paul

"Dan, you're doing an ethnic cleansing of my food." –Adam

"My hands are so hairy they have nooks and crannies like a Thomas' English muffin!" –Dan

"He's like a hermaphroditic worm." –Erin

"Wanna bone like a cat in heat?" –Adam

"MERT is no place for attitude. Just rampant sex." –Jack

"Don't tempt me, I like sternal rubs too." –Carsten

"A member of one of your suitemates knows her very well." –Lunin

"Hmm, I can get mine to jiggle too." –Paul

"She looked 35, so she'S probably 45 - that's what beer is for." –Dan and Paul

"You don't want to be stylish, yet purple?" –Dan

"I can touch you as much as I want in my room." –Erin

"All you gave him was head." –Adam

"Say my name, Dinger!" –Erin

"Bend me over again, Midget." –Mookie

"Drink, Bitch Tits." –Dan
"We don't have the names anymore." –Adam
"I know - Bitch Tits." –Dan

"It smells like a MERT call in here!" –Anthony

"Oh yeah, you are an organic entity, aren' t you?" –Carsten

"I'd fuckin kick ass if I was in the Special Olympics." –Dan
"I want to be handicapped!" –Courtney

"I need to play with the knob some more." –Adam

"I'm impotent!" –Carsten
"Is that what you meant to say?" –Erin
"Do you want me to prove it to you?" –Carsten

"Are you feeling abused, Adam?" –Erin
"Yeah, but I like it; it really does it for me." –Adam

"It's not a meal, it's a mushroom." –Carsten

"How could a candle burn?" –Courtney

"I spent all day blowing." –Carsten

"Whoever's on tonight, make sure they don't pull it out early." –Carsten

"Hey Erin, can you help me with reproduction?" –Dave

"Fish are vegetables; they swim." –Anthony

"Erin, Courtney's yelling your name again."
"Yeah, she does that often."

"I'm a few dollars short of a muffin." –Sharon

"I guess there's nothing left to do except to take off my pants." –Paul

"It's like somebody squished a baby chicken." –Erin

"I like visits- conjugal visits." –Carsten

"I need to sober up so I can drink more." –Courtney

"I found the stuff that I want to have injected into me!" –Dan

"Aaahh! You're biting my head!" –Erin
"No, I'm just providing hair moisturizer." –Dan

"A, B, C, D, ?" –Erin
"Aren't you the English major?" –Carsten
"That doesn't mean I know the alphabet." –Erin

"I like a big stick." –Erin

"You know what a good symphony orchestra needs? A big pianist! And girls who blow well!" –Dan

"I happen to like the taste of jizz." –Lunin

"I've been using my hands a lot lately." –Dave

"You may go blind, but it will feel sooo good!" –Lunin

"Freshmen year, all we used to do is finger people." –Erin

"I like hot guys." –Carsten

"If I could clone myself, I'd become a lesbian." –Erin

"I'm a cock!" –Courtney

"It's kind of obvious when you hear someone say, "Ohhh, Mr. Suction Hole!"- then you start to wonder." –Adam

"Paul, you mean you couldn't recognize me from the ass by now?" –Adam

"I can't get it up." –Carsten

"I don't want to make you come because it's going to take a long time." –Erin